Beauty and the Beast
by Kaitipoola
Summary: What would happen if when Laurent was going to kill Bella in the meadow, the La Push gang was a little too late? Bella's POV. Please Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

**Beauty and the Beast**

"_Please," I gasped. _

_Laurent shook his head, his face kind. "Look at it this way, Bella. You're very lucky I was the one to find you." _

"_Am I?" I mouthed, faltering another step back. __Laurent followed, lithe and graceful. _

"_Yes," he assured me. "I'll be very quick. You won't feel a thing, I promise. Oh, I'll lie to Victoria about that later, just to placate her. But if you knew what she had planned for you, Bella…" He shook his head with a slow movement, almost as if in disgust. "I swear you'd be thanking me for this." _

_I stared at him in horror. _

_He sniffed at the breeze that blew thread of my hair in his direction. "Mouthwatering," he repeated, inhaling deeply. _

_I tensed for the spring._

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Laurent had lied when he said that I wouldn't feel a thing.

My entire body was filled with a mindless, screaming agony. Fire, scorching hot, was crawling through my veins. I would gladly sell my soul to the devil, if only it would make that fire go away.

Blood was spilling quickly from the place on my arm where he'd bit me. Gritting my teeth against the shriek of pain that threatened to escape me, I looked up at Laurent. His eyes were burning with an animal need that I recognized.

"End it," I begged. "Please, just make it stop."

Laurent nodded absently and slid forward to oblige me. _Not like James_, I thought with an alien sense of triumph. Laurent wouldn't draw it out for entertainment—he would simply kill me and feed.

Through the thick haze of pain, in my mind's eye I saw Edward's face. His profile was beautiful, as always, and very clear—it was as if I had just reached down for him from the bottom of my consciousness, as if he'd been there all along. It didn't matter how many times I'd tried to push it away; nothing could keep me from his image now. In my vision, Edward was smiling. "I love you, Bella," he told me. "I'll be waiting for you."

I let out a strangled sob as Laurent reached forward to snap my neck…

His hand paused in the action when, from far off, a furious howl sounded in the forest. It was like a wolf's howl, but different somehow, more intelligent.

Laurent's eyes were wide with terror. "No," he muttered to himself. "No…" Even through the agony, I was shocked as he turned and fled.

I was alone in the forest.

"Wait," I cried in a broken mumble; my body was going into shock from all of the pain. "Come back…Oh, God, just let me die…"

Dimly, I noticed that I was not alone in the forest, after all. Five gigantic, furry animals were suddenly there, sitting very still and watching me writhe in pain with dark eyes.

One of them, a rusty brown, larger than most of the others—let out a whimper. At this sound, and some other kind of unspoken command, the other four burst into action. Snarling and growling, they ran off in the direction Laurent had taken, disappearing from beyond my view into the woods.

The rusty brown was still here, whining softly. It approached me, its body using very wolf-like movements, and sat next to me. Its dark, knowing eyes were filled with an unshakable misery.

I let out another yelp of pain as the venom continued to spread.

The wolfy creature seemed oddly safe to me, despite its size and cruel-looking teeth. "Kill me," I pleaded, my voice rising in pitch as the pain worsened. All I could think about was the fire in my veins, the pain, and how I had to stop it.

A shudder racked the animal's huge frame, but it made no move towards me. It raised its muzzle and let out a long howl: filled with as much sadness as there was in his eyes.

One of the other wolf-things, a silver one, strode back into the meadow. Instead of more wolf-things, however, it was followed by three young men. Three young men I recognized…

But all thought was erased by another wave of blinding pain. I let out a hoarse yell, and saw one of the men wince out of the corner of my eye. "What are we going to do now?" asked a voice that I knew as Embry's.

There was no answer.

The russet brown wolf lay down next to me, laying its large head on its paws. The other men looked on in silence as the evening wore on, and my anguished cries mingled with the wolf's mournful howls.

**Author's Note: Hey, everyone. I told you one day that I would do a real story, didn't I? Well, here it is. I might do a sequal if Bella ever meets up with Edward (which I haven't decided yet) but this story is about Bella and Jacob--hence the name Beauty and the Beast. I know this first chapter was a little dramatic. I don't think the others will be as bad. Oh, and I'm not going to try to copy Stephanie Meyer's writing style. I don't think anyone can do that, and I write better in my own style. Thanks for reading. I have another chapter written, but when I submit it depends on the number of reviews I get. **

**-Poola**


	2. Chapter 2

Before, when I had fantasized about becoming a vampire, I had imagined that Edward would be waiting for me when I woke up. A slow smile would light his face, and he would take me into the arms that I loved. Everything would be perfect.

But now it seemed that Jacob was waiting for me, instead.

"Hey, Bells," he whispered. A small shudder shook his frame. I looked at him, still frozen in shock.

I was in Jake's room, placed at the center of the bed. The room looked familiar, but different as well. There was a new sharpness to the colors, and the shapes were more profound. It was like before I had been seeing things only in second dimension, and now I could see them in third.

My mind was sharper, more focused. My pale skin felt cold, extremely so: I felt like I had been trudging through snow in a bathing suit. But I wasn't shivering. My body felt different, as well: agile, stronger. Unbreakable…

Oh. And I couldn't feel a heartbeat.

"Dammit," I said finally. My voice, even when swearing, was like music. I looked up at Jake, at his heartbroken expression. "I'm a vampire, aren't I?"

Jake nodded slowly. I noticed that he wouldn't look me in the eye. "That's the idea," he said.

My nostrils suddenly widened of their own accord. "Ughh," I blurted before thinking. Jake smelled _awful._ There wasn't any other smell you could relate it to—it was as if the scent had been specifically made to make _me _disgusted, to keep _me _away. Every instinct in my new body was telling me to get away, but I stayed. _It's Jacob, _I told myself.

_Jacob, my own personal sun. Jacob, my friend. _

"You don't smell so lovely, yourself," Jake responded. There was a bitter edge in his voice that I had never heard in it before. And there was more…

Jacob looked—different. He was taller, of course, but he also looked older than he had when I'd seen him last. His muscles had tightened and hardened under the russet skin, and his profile was sharper…less human.

Without even giving the matter any thought, I knew the truth.

"You were the wolf," I said. It wasn't a question. Jacob nodded, his cautious face still averted from mine. He seemed to be waiting for me to scream, or run away. But I wasn't afraid. I probably wouldn't have been afraid even if I was still human: I knew Jake would never hurt me.

_"You see," Jacob had said, "the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf—well, not the wolf really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves."_

_"Werewolves have enemies?" I'd asked._

_"Only one."_

"Do you think I'm afraid?" I asked. "Or that I think you're a monster? Jacob, look at me. Look at what I am. No matter what you are, you can't possibly be as much a monster as I am now."

He didn't say anything, but I knew (with a sting) that he was agreeing with me.

And knowing this brought on the full realization:

I was a vampire. An alien to the human race. From now on I would be faster and stronger than everyone else, and I would drink blood.

I would live for eternity, and I would always be alone.

A tearless sob escaped my cold lips. With another stab of pain, I realized that the hole in my chest was still there. No matter what I was, it would never go away.

I wrapped my arms around myself to keep it closed, taking deep, unneeded breaths. "It wasn't supposed to happen this way," I mumbled to myself.

I had wanted so badly to be a vampire before—wanted it more than anything. But now, Edward wasn't here to share eternity with me.

Now, being a vampire was nothing but a curse.

Jacob was staring fixedly out of his window, out at the pounding rain. "Jake," I said. He didn't answer, his gaze never flickered from the window. "Jacob," I hissed, "look at me!" Finally I had his attention. Jacob turned, his body shaking with rage, and looked me straight in the eye. I saw the revulsion in his eyes, and soon I was shaking too.

"I didn't look at you that way when you were a wolf, Jacob," I cried. "Jake, please—say something! Don't you even recognize me? Isn't there anything of the old Bella left?"

Jacob's eyes filled with tears. "No," he whispered, his voice breaking. "The Bella I knew is gone."

I bowed my head, fighting against the pain.

_Jacob, my own personal sun. Jacob, my friend. _

After a minute I stood, slowly as not to alarm him, and left Jacob's bedroom. His bathroom was two doors away—I headed for that. It was amazing how silently I could glide when I didn't want anyone to hear me…obviously, my awkwardness had left with my humanity. Smoothly I slipped into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and gasped.

I was _beautiful. _

Maybe I wasn't as pretty as Rosalie, but I was definitely close. Every feature of my face was perfect, new curves lined my slender body, and my long brown hair was lustrous and wavy.

My eyes, however, were a deep, crimson red.

"Holy crow," I muttered. I would certainly have to get contacts before I left Forks…But _was _I leaving Forks? If not, then what would I do? Where could I go? And what would I _eat_?

Suddenly, a mouthwateringly delicious scent filled my nostrils. "Bella," said a low voice from behind me. I turned, more quickly than was humanly possible, to face Billy Black.

"Stay away from me, Billy," I warned softly. I didn't know how dangerous I could be to him, and he smelled appetizing.

He took an obedient step back, sighing. His sharp, intent black eyes were almost as mournful as Jacob's. "Oh, Bella," he said gruffly. "I told you, didn't I, that first night, to think about what you were doing."

Childishly, I lifted my chin in defiance of his wisdom. "I don't regret it, Billy," I replied, and found that the words were true. When his face darkened, I added, "I'm grateful for the time I got with them." I knew that he would understand who I meant. Billy's expression was thoughtful. "You know you can't stay here," he pointed out. There was no animosity in his voice; it was just a simple statement of fact. "I know," I affirmed. Billy nodded. "Talk to Jake," he advised, and retreated with dignity.

Taking Billy's advice, I returned to Jacob's room.

He was sitting in the exact same place as he had been, and still looking fixedly out the window. I saw his nostrils widen with my scent, but he didn't look up. "Hi, Bella," he said quietly. "Hi," I said. In less than a second I was sitting on the bed; Jake noticed this with distaste. There was silence for a while.

"Jake," I finally said. He did me the honor of looking up. "I…" I trailed off. How could I find words to tell him how sorry I was? In the end, I decided on putting it simply.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I didn't mean for this to happen; I would never mean anything to happen that would hurt you. And I had no control over what happened with Laurent…if I could change it, I would."

Jake was looking at me full-on now; his thoughtful gaze was very similar to his father's. "We killed Laurent," he said absently, and ignored my surprise. Suddenly, a thought came to him. "But what about the things you _did_ have control over, Bella? How could you stay with him, when you knew what he was? Didn't you ever stop to think…" He trailed off, shuddering again, but his eyes still expected an answer.

"I loved him," I said, simply and honestly. And he understood.

"What are you going to do?" he asked. "Look for him?" I could see the pain in his eyes as he suggested it. "No," I assured him. "He doesn't want me, he told me that long ago. I don't know what I'm gonna do, Jake. I have to stay away from humans, that's for certain. And I might have to get contacts…_he _never told me that my eyes would be red at first, or for how long. Oh…and I'll never be able to say goodbye to Charlie…" I sat there, stunned, wishing I could cry.

With great effort, Jake took my hand. His hot skin burned on my cold, but I didn't pull away. "It'll be ok, Bells," he said, and I smiled sadly at the re-adoption of my nickname. "We can work this out. Remember my promise? Well, I'm not going to break it."

I nodded, pensive. "Jacob?" I said finally.

"Yeah?"

I smiled sadly at him again. "Jake, I think I might just end up older than you."


	3. Chapter 3

I was a little shocked that Jake was still here, sitting next to me, talking to me. It was inconceivable that he still wanted to stay with me—when now we were natural enemies.

And I was certainly aware of this fact. Despite the unspeakable bond that Jacob and I shared, I could feel…and _smell_…the wrongness of being around him. Both of us were on edge, our eyes constantly darting around the room as we talked.

As I had said before, it wasn't Jacob that made me afraid. It was just…his presence? "This is going to be hard," Jacob realized, as I shifted away from him for the twentieth time."It might get better," I offered half-heartedly. Jake grimaced. "But just think, Bells," he said, "just think how my brothers are going to—"

"Wait. Your _brothers_?" I asked. I had heard no talk of brothers.

Jacob shrugged, "Sam, Embry, Jared, Paul…we all turn into wolves."

Oh, Christ. Five of them.

Well, it did explain some things. Each one absent from school for a week: when they come back, Sam owns them. _He must be the pack leader,_ I thought. But one thing didn't make sense. "Protectors?" I inquired.

He nodded. "From leeches," he explained, and smirked apologetically when I glared at him. Then, with sudden understanding: "You didn't think _we _were killing the people, did you?"

I shook my head innocently, though that was what I had been unconsciously assuming all along. I breathed a mental sigh of relief.

"How does this happen?" I asked after another brief pause. "Can you just snap your fingers"—I snapped my fingers—"and change?"

Jake shook his head. "No. We have to be angry, furious actually. But it doesn't matter whether we _want _to change: once we get mad enough, we turn into wolves. So, when you think about it, I'm almost as dangerous to humans as you are."

"And that's why you never called me back?"

"That's why I never called you back."

My eyes narrowed. "You would have ended our friendship because you were a werewolf." It wasn't really such an idiotic notion, but my voice was sarcastic.

"Yeah, Bella, I would've. I didn't want you to get hurt—it's happened before with our kind." He sighed, gesturing to my pale hand. "It doesn't matter now."

"Stop it," I snapped. "You're making me gloomy." But then I started, and laughed at such a ridiculous idea. Jacob, relaxed at the sound of my laughter, frowned. "What is it?" he asked, but I shook my head. "Nothing, Jake. Go on. You said someone's gotten hurt before…?"

Jacob's expression turned immediately solemn. "Emily," he whispered. "Sam's fiancé. Once, when he'd only been a werewolf for a couple weeks, Sam got into an argument with her. He got so pissed, he changed. And he hurt her—real bad."

An alien sympathy for Sam washed over me. "Oh," I said. The inadequate word hung in the air for a moment, before I remembered something. "How do you all communicate?" I asked. They had never made any signal to each other when I had seen them last in wolf-form.

I was about to add something else, but then I caught Jacob's expression. It was tight, wary—like it had been when he had told me that he was a werewolf. Like what he would say might scare me…

I gave him a look that told him not to be an idiot.

"Umm—well, we can sort of read each other's minds," he confessed. "Only when we're in wolf-form, though." He glanced up anxiously to gauge my reaction, then flinched from contact with my red irises.

Noting mentally that I need to get contacts—soon—, I spoke up. "That's cool, Jake," I commented tonelessly. I was thinking about someone else who had that ability, and how different he was from the dear, familiar man I watched now.

He was surprised by my reaction, but he didn't comment. There was silence for a moment, not uncomfortable: the necessary kind of silence.

"What are your brothers going to do now?" I asked.

He evaded the purpose behind my question. "We're going to keep tracking the red-headed leech," he muttered, almost to himself. "It'll be easier now that the other one's out of the way."

Before, I would have been scared to death at the thought of Victoria. But now I was filled with a strange, supreme confidence. If she wanted to fight me, then let her come.

"What am _I_ going to do?" I wondered, finally breaching the one subject that he had refused to breach so far.

Jake gathered his courage and met my eyes. He flinched away a moment later, of course, but the gesture was notable. "You're going to stay with me," he said, his low voice firm. "No, Bella: you are. I don't care how crazy I'm being right now—I made a promise, dammit!"

"Jacob," I murmured, quietly and calmly. "You're a werewolf; I'm a vampire. Those two just don't mix; quite the opposite, actually. And besides, what about when I hunt? When I'm desperately trying not to murder every human I pass?" I felt a stab of guilt, remembering Billy's delicious scent. "Jake, I'm not going to do that to you."

He was shaking slightly now. I instinctively knew that as the prelude to a change, and tensed. In the back of my mind, I considered that if Jake ever transformed while I was around, his inevitable first target would be me,—a vampire. But these thoughts were unimportant compared to the task at hand.

"Jake, it's all right," I soothed. "Jeez. Calm down. Just try to think about it rationally, 'kay? Try to be reasonable."

Jake glared at me, his eyes clearly telling me to shut up. He pressed his large, copper-skinned fists against his eyes, and inhaled slowly. Without looking up, he muttered, "Please, Bells."

"Jacob Black!" I whisper-yelled. "If you are feeling guilty because of some promise you made when we were both _human_—"

He lifted his head and put up a hand to stop me. "No. That's not it, I swear. I probably screwed that promise anyway. I _want _you to stay, Bella. Even if you're a vampire. And I don't care what it takes—whatever you need me to do, I'll do! _That's _my promise. Please stay, Bells."

I thought about it for a minute.

It would have to be secret, of course. Even Billy wouldn't be able to know. I would have to stay in the forest; maybe tag along during the day as the pack trailed Victoria. But how would five _werewolves _fare in tracking a vampire when another of that race was right next to them?

"I don't think that'll work out too well with your _brothers_," I muttered, a tad sour. He nodded in agreement. "Especially Paul."

We sat together in silence, and I caught him glancing mournfully at my pale skin.

"Wait here," he said suddenly. "I'm going to call a meeting—I'll come back for you." Before I could say a word, he was striding out of the room, leaving that hideous scent trailing behind him. His gait was awkward, I noticed suddenly. Then I laughed silently to myself: if I thought Jacob was awkward, then what must the Cullens have thought of me?

This time, I didn't even wince at the mental mention of them. It was still painful, but the pain was dull—probably due to the recent amount of stress I'd been through.

I sat there, suddenly wondering why what was happening had to happen to me _now_. Had I committed any crimes in my human life, broken any laws? If today had only been a year ago…

But maybe this wasn't atonement for my sins—maybe it was simply the domino effect, and the first domino tipping over had been that first night with Edward in Port Angeles. Maybe all of this, every crushing blow in this soap opera of my life, was just inevitable. And for some sick, twisted reason, this was a comforting thought to me.

I could hear Jacob coming in now, through the back door. Politely, I waited for him to come and get me. "Let's go," he said when he arrived, his face grim. "I'm right behind you," I answered, striving for a cheerful tone.

I followed him out of the house, trying to keep my distance. It didn't seem like I would ever get used to that stench. It was grey outside, as always. Clouds were rolling in, and I could surmise from the very feel of things that a storm was coming.

Jacob seemed ready to lead me through the forest, but I needed no leading. I could smell the werewolves from his house; my bare feet found the surest path on the ground without thought. I knew how to move in the forest the way a fish knew how to swim, the way a bird knew how to fly—the way a tiger knew how to hunt.

"Slow down," Jake grumbled as I sped far ahead of him. "I can't match your speed unless I'm in wolf form—and I don't think that's anything you'd like to see."

After that, I slowed down.

Just as their scent came nearer, Jake put a hand up to stop me. "Be careful," he said. "Don't react to anything they say—especially Paul. Just let me do the talking." We entered the clearing cautiously, but I noticed Jake's body relaxing a little as he caught sight of his brothers.

They stood in an unfinished circle; one link in the chain was missing. I could see how Jake wanted to take his natural place, but he stayed by my side. He obviously noticed the effect that the smell was having on me.

My mind was buzzing with panic; it was all I could do to keep still. My cold body was craving action—_run or fight, run or fight_, was pulsing in my head.

Upon seeing me, four almost-identical bodies stiffened instantly, and three began to tremble slightly. "What's this, Jake?" Said a man I didn't recognize immediately. "You brought the leech along with you? She has no place here—we were supposed to talk about this _alone_!"

"What's there to talk about?" sneered another man I didn't know. "All we know is that we have to get rid of her—the only question is how. And as to _that_, I have a few ideas." He glanced at me with menace; I gazed back at him without response.

"Shut up, Paul," said Embry. "It isn't like that. I've talked to her before; she was cool. And it's not her fault what happened." Jake sighed in relief, but Paul glared at Embry, his lip curling up slightly. A cool breeze, warm against _my _skin, brought their combined scent into my nostrils, and I stopped breathing.

By now, only one of the men had not spoken. His face was the most mature, the wisest, and it held the serene confidence of absolute authority. I knew him to be Sam.

He was silent, but he was watching me in a questioning, assessing way. He didn't seem to resent my presence like the others, but there was no trust in his eyes.

"I won't hurt you," I promised weakly, holding his dark eyes with my crimson ones. They seemed to make him uneasy, but he didn't flinch back: through my panic, I felt a profound respect.

"Like you _could _hurt him," muttered the man that I knew now to be Jared. He added, lower still, though my ears could pick up anything: "Like you could hurt any of us."

_Then why are you shaking so hard?_ I thought, but said nothing.

Sam finally spoke. "Alright, Jacob. We are here; now what do you propose to do with her?" Jake looked gratefully at him, and threw an anxious glance at me. "She stays with us," he said simply.

That simple statement was enough to set the other three off.

"The _leech _stays with _us_?" Paul roared. His fists were shaking like they were under the weight of a grand mal seizure.

"This is going too far, Jake," said Jared through gritted teeth. Even Embry was shaking his head; his narrowed eyes were fixed on me.

Sam's face was unsurprised. "Why do you ask this of us, Jacob?" he asked, ever calm. Jake's own hands were trembling slightly, partly due to anger and partly due to the effect of my presence. "She doesn't have anyone to teach her to abstain from humans," Jake explained. "If we don't help her, we're putting our people at risk."

Paul shouted, "If we kill her, no one will be put at risk, either!" His eyes were on me, and the sight of me seemed to make him even more furious. Jacob's face was twisted in pain and anger. He opened his mouth to speak, but I raised a hand to stop him. I was done with being spoken for.

Slowly, I moved into the precise center of the circle. "Go ahead," I said with a small smile to Jake, and he stepped into his place in the circle around me.

"Now," I began, trying my best to be diplomatic. "I'm not asking you to let me stay with you so I can come in the night and murder you. I don't have any grand scheme to destroy your kind, I promise. The only reason why I wanted to stay here is because of Jake, and because he wants me to stay."

Mouths opened to protest, so I continued quickly, speaking to Sam alone.

"I do have reasons, though, that I can be useful to your pack—one is that I hate human drinkers almost as much as you do. I've nearly been killed by one more than once…and anyway, I can help you track the vampire you're after now. Another is because of what I am now: a vampire. I can think and feel like a vampire, and I know vampires' strengths and weaknesses. I know their secrets."

They were all watching me intently: half wary, half interested.

"You should also know that I have information on the red-headed vampire we all love so much. I know why she's here and what she's after."

Embry's head jerked up. "What is she after?" I shook my head. "It's not your job to know that. It's your job to keep your land safe and get rid of her."

Paul had cooled down a bit at my words. "I don't believe you," he said quietly. "Don't, then," I said, shrugging nonchalantly. Only Jacob could know how much I wanted this.

Sam spoke again, seeming a bit more relaxed. "What does staying with us do for _you_, Bella?" he asked. "You haven't said anything about that."

I stepped back in shock. "Does it _matter_?" I gasped. Sam almost smiled. "It certainly does to Jacob," he replied, inclining his head toward my friend. Jake lowered his eyes.

Well, I didn't have an answer ready to that question. For a moment I looked down at the grass, thinking.

When I finally spoke, my voice was uncertain. "It's going to be hard for me to adjust to the lifestyle that the…Cullens…lived by," I choked out, "because there won't be anyone here to help me. But I don't want to kill innocent humans, no matter what's in my nature. I also have to find a place out of the sun. And if I don't want to travel half the world to get there, then the place for me is definitely on the peninsula. If I stay with you, then I stay here."

Those were all of the logical reasons that I had for them, but they weren't the ones that mattered. Even if just for now, I needed to be honest.

"And," I finished, "I would be able to stay with Jake."

The tone of my voice had the seal of a finished speech. I glanced out of the corner of my eye at Jacob, and saw that his mouth had a bitter twist to it. Warm moisture was falling onto the tip of my nose; it was starting to rain. Sam still studied me, but there was a decision in his eyes.

No one spoke, for me or against me. Every face was turned expectantly in Sam's direction, as if nothing that they said changed anything, as if his word was the only one that had mattered all along.

Sam's sure, calm voice sounded in the stillness of the forest, just before the first clap of thunder:

"Done."

**Author's Note: Hi, everyone. Sorry it took me so long to update--the site wouldn't let me submit this one for the longest time. I hope you like it; this is when things start actually happening a little. I also think this one will be better than the others, due to the fact that my dear and talented friend Lomesir has graciously consented to beta my chapters. Thanks again, Lomesir. Anyway, please read and review if you enjoyed it. **

**--Poola**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Night was closing in on the La Push Indian Reservation.

"She's gone, Billy," Sam was saying from inside the house. "I sent her to find the Cullens. They'll take care of her." I was listening outside, just to the left of the back door. A gnawing hunger was growing in the pit of my stomach; I tried to push it away.

I could feel a shifting in the air as Billy nodded. "Thanks. She deserves that much, at least…but _what _are we going to tell Charlie?" His low, rumbling voice held a distinct note of sadness in it.

My fists clenched involuntarily, guarding against the pain.

"We can pretend we don't know anything about it," Jared suggested uncertainly. The air shifted again as five heads shook. "No," said Sam, speaking for them all. "He'll go looking for her." There was silence as they thought.

"Bears," Paul muttered finally. "Everyone will think that's it. We'll say she disappeared where the giant bears were last spotted. No one will go after her then…" As they planned what they would say, I stopped listening, and began to think about Charlie.

Despite the fact that I had not asked to be changed, I knew I was guilty. I had made the choice to follow this path long ago, and I had known what I was doing. Now that it was all over, I began to realize the repercussions that had been caused by my choices, to realize what I had really done.

I had abandoned my family.

Renée would be able to cope eventually; she had Phil to keep her happy. But what about Charlie? He had no one to love him, no one to take care of him. He wouldn't ever get over this—he had never even gotten over Renée, after all. I could picture him, sitting in the living room and staring at my old school pictures. All alone.

Who would cook for Charlie now?

I shivered a little, though the air was warm against my cool skin. It did no good to think about these things, I reminded myself. The pack would take care of Charlie, and I could check up on him, too, once I was ready.

Ok, no more thinking about Charlie. I looked out into the night, studying my strangely clear surroundings. My sharp eyes took in the shadow of every tree branch, every touch of wind in the brush.

When I turned a little, I could see the water sweeping over the sand as the tide came in. I listened to the waves crashing against the rock; there was a certain melancholy music to the sound.

Suddenly, the dry ache in the pit of my stomach increased. I felt a strange liquid coating my throat, a slight weakening of my limbs. My eyes were probably jet black right now.

I needed to hunt.

But how could I hunt now? I had no idea how to hunt. There was no one to teach me what to do. How would I know what to do?

Don't think about it, I told myself. That wouldn't help anything.

I remembered how easily I had navigated through the forest today with Jacob. Maybe hunting would feel like that: natural, innate. Hesitantly, I turned toward the woods. Took a step forward…

And I was flying.

My feet left no mark on the ground as I wove in between the trees. No thought was required to forge the path ahead; it was like I had known exactly where I was going all along.

A fierce, exultant laugh fell from my lips. Gone was the Bella who had tripped over air, the weak Bella, the clumsy Bella.

In seconds I had penetrated the very heart of the forest. Scents that I didn't recognize were all around me, pulling me in different directions. I instinctively chose the one that was most appetizing and chased after it, an unnatural wind following me.

I found my prey in a clearing, a young doe. A strong, healthy heart thudded in her chest, and she looked up at me innocently with liquid brown eyes. An unfamiliar growl slid from between my teeth; I attacked without hesitation.

It was all over in mere seconds. Shuddering but satisfied, I stepped back from my kill.

I remembered what Edward had told me about hunting animals, that it was like a human living on salad and tofu. The bland, flavorless taste in my mouth made me agree. Yes, it was like eating salad—salad without dressing.

The doe's eyes were glazing over in death. Just a moment ago, she had been so beautiful and full of life. And I had just killed her. My face fell into my hands as I realized what I had done. Guilt and remorse shook my cold body…until, abruptly, I made myself stop.

I wasn't going to break down like this, I told myself. This was what I had to do to survive, and no amount of mourning would change that.

With a resigned sigh, I turned back towards Jacob's house.

Jacob was out in the back waiting for me when I returned. He watched my silent approach with those dark, probing eyes of his before asking, "Where were you?" The way he posed the question made him seem afraid of the answer.

I decided to tell him the truth. "Hunting," I replied quietly. "Sorry." He flinched, and began to tremble a tiny bit, but then seemed to regain his composure. "Okay," he said, taking a deep breath.

"Have you all decided what to do about Charlie?" I fought back my own wince.

Jake said, "Yeah. Apparently, you were killed by those 'bears' that hikers keep reporting." I frowned. "That's just going to make them look harder for the 'bears', though, isn't it?"

My friend forced a smile, for my sake. "Don't worry about us, Bella," he assured me. "We can take care of ourselves."

Of course I would worry…but I wouldn't tell him that.

"Sorry," I mumbled again. "You didn't have to do this for me, Jake, you know." Jake nodded in his way, avoiding my eyes as always. "I know," he said. He yawned a big yawn, and then scowled, as if defying his need for sleep.

"Go to bed, Jacob," I muttered. I wasn't tired at all, as I'd known that I wouldn't be.

He nodded again. "G'night, Bells."

"G'night, Jake."

Jacob turned and re-entered his dark house, ducking his head to get through the doorway. After a moment of stillness, I turned as well, and moved to the side of the house. I sat down, leaned my back against the wall, and prepared to wait out the night.

**Author's Note: Hey, everyone, thanks for reading. All hail Lomesir, my amazing and talented beta. Please review, and I'll try an get the next chapter in as soon as I can. **

**--Poola**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five 

I had completely lost track of time since being changed; now I had no idea whether it had been a week or a month since that first meeting with Sam and his gang. The only fact I really was aware of was that nothing had happened since then.

Idle and restless, I haunted the woods and beaches of the reservation— always careful to stay away from the inhabitants of the houses, of course, and hunting when it was necessary.

La Push's resident werewolves were always somewhere in the forest, keeping their land free of Victoria. They took shifts: three wolves went out with Sam everyday, and one was allowed to stay home and rest for a couple of hours.

As you might imagine, I didn't see Jacob much.

Sometimes Sam or even Embry would stop by Billy's house to see how I was faring. Each time they did, I was struck by their exhaustion, those dark circles under their eyes. Clearly, they were working too hard.

And still, I was never invited to help them.

Maybe this was why I had lost track of time—nothing ever happened that I might remember a day by. My life had turned into a dull, eventless routine.

Even when Jake was home, I never got to see him much. He spent most of his time at home sleeping and eating, two things that I had no part in. I would have joined him for his meals, at least, just to spend a little time with him, but my own human memories were too strong. I hadn't forgotten how uncomfortable it had been to eat under the envious gaze of a vampire.

The only times when I was truly happy were those rare times when I caught Jacob awake, and not in need of food. We would go down to the garage, and I would sit and listen to him talk while he tinkered with his latest project.

It gradually became easier to be around Jake and his scent without wanting to bolt—even though we always avoided eachother's eyes. I hadn't thought it possible, but I was beginning to feel almost comfortable with him again. He was still Jake, after all, and I was still Bella. We were still kindred spirits.

One afternoon, as we worked in the garage, I voiced what was bothering me. For want of something better to do, we were re-tuning the bikes. Jake didn't seem to mind; as long as his hands were busy, he was happy.

"Jake?" I asked, as I handed him the screwdriver he had requested.

"Yeah, Bells," he responded absently. I snagged his attention with my next question:

"Why don't I track Victoria with the pack?"

Jacob set the tool down and turned to me, smiling a little uneasily. "You're getting pretty bored around here, huh?" he observed.

"It's not like I'd have to check my schedule," I pointed out. He grimaced.

"I know, Bella," he said, probably in what he meant to be a cajoling tone. "Some of the guys have wondered about that, too. But me and Sam want to keep you safe…don't you see it?"

I frowned and crossed my arms. "Don't I see what?"

"Aw, Bells. If one of us phased while you were around, we'd probably just turn and kill you. It's harder, you know, once we're in wolf-form, to be around lee—around vampires. Our instincts are much stronger."

Thoughtfully, I toyed with strands of my hair. It was soft and silky under my fingers. "Well…" I bit my lip. "What if we could get around that?" Jake laughed, a harder laugh than I was used to. "What if fish could forget how to swim?" he mocked. "What if birds couldn't fly? Bella, be serious."

I glared at him, and he glared back, starting to shake a little…which gave me an idea.

"Umm, Jacob," I said, thinking fast. "What if _you _could phase around me? Not your brothers, just you. Would that change anything?"

Jacob's face was blank and uncomprehending as he answered, "Yeah, that would actually change a lot." He reached for the screwdriver once more, dismissing the subject.

"Let's try it, then!" I encouraged, ignoring him. "We could hunt Victoria together…and if the others could get used to me…Jake?"

He was suddenly shaking his head so fiercely that I shrank back. "It's not going to happen," he muttered. "I'll kill you. I'm not gonna put you in danger, Bella. It's not worth it."

I stood up; I had made my decision. "Oh, stop that," I said, my voice quick and quiet. "I'm not weak, helpless Bella anymore. I can take care of myself, and I want to help. Besides, I'm just as fast as you are. If you can't control yourself, I'll just run up a tree till you calm down."

Jacob frowned unhappily. "What if I break down the tree?" he suggested half-heartedly. I grinned, elated at the promise of action. "Then I'll run up another one," I assured him. "You can't snap 'em all, Jake."

He followed me out of the garage silently, still grimacing with disapproval.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him along with me as I hurried into the forest, slowing down to his human-y pace with difficulty.

The forest was dark and cool and silent, despite the gentle _thuds _of Jake's feet beside me. The scent of pine was clear and fresh, barely tainted by the salt smell of the ocean. I exhaled in relief: it was the smell of comfort.

"You know that if Sam finds out about this I'm screwed, right?" Jacob said sourly, bringing my attention back to his unpleasant odor. He stopped abruptly and faced me, feet planted apart, drawn up to his full and frightening height.

"Don't worry," I cooed, "I'll protect you."

Jake sighed, bowing his head in resignation. "You sure about this?" he asked pleadingly. "It doesn't have to be now, you know."

"I'm ready," I insisted. I planted my own feet.

He nodded, and turned his gaze to the forest floor, concentrating. His hands began to tremble a tiny bit—not enough. And then suddenly, his whole body went rigid, as if preparing for a blow.

Jake clenched his jaw, widened his nostrils with my scent, and looked into my eyes.

**Author's Note: Thanks for waiting, folks! I have the next chapter written already, so everyone review and then I'll submit it. Oh, and I also ackowledge Lomesir, who is skilled in the ways of the editor. **

**--Poola**


	6. Chapter 6

Suddenly, I wasn't half as confident as I had been a second ago. Jacob's dark eyes were glued to mine, screaming out fury and revulsion. His whole body was shuddering violently.

My own body was trying to decide between locking down for a fight and loosening for a hasty retreat. "Jake," I found myself whispering. "Jake…wait…" But he wouldn't listen, or he couldn't hear. He exhaled sharply through his teeth, and I took a small step back.

Then everything was a blur.

Jacob was exploding out of his skin, tearing his clothes, much more ferocious than I had remembered. His body was covered with russet-brown fur; his face was pulled into a threatening, canine leer. His overpowering stench assaulted me in waves. A low, dangerous growl was erupting in his chest, I was turning to run…

_Stay where you are, Bella. _

My heart sank: this wasn't the voice I'd hoped for. It was my own voice, only much more dry and calm, sounding in the back of my mind. I stayed where I was, resigned to the fact that I was crazy.

Jacob-Wolf growled once more, a warning, and took a menacing step forward. I bit my lip, waiting for further instruction:

_Sit down._

I sat.

Jacob-Wolf studied me carefully. I could sense his surprise at the immediate sign of submission.

_Don't look into his face, _said my voice. I lowered my eyes.

There was a tight, deafening silence in the forest. The scent of the wolf was filling my senses with panic; I took deep, unneeded breaths to calm myself.

_Talk to him,_ my voice ordered, _He'll understand you. _

"Jake," I murmured earnestly, my voice soothing. "Jacob, it's me. Bella. Do you understand me, Jake? I'm not going to hurt you. I promise." As I spoke, the voice in my head faded away.

He growled.

"Please, Jacob," I whispered. "It's me! Don't you remember…?"

He was trying to remember, that much I could see. His wild eyes were dimming, becoming more focused. Encouraged, I told him the first memory that came to mind.

"Think about the motorcycles, Jake. That first time, when you taught me how to ride one, and I crashed into the trees?" I laughed, successfully keeping the hysteria out of my voice. My eyes avoided his, staring out into the dark woods. "We had to go back to Charlie's house and destroy evidence, remember?"

I looked up; Jacob's whole body was completely relaxed and calm. In response, my body unstiffened. "See," I murmured triumphantly. "Told you it would be alright—and I didn't even have to run up one tree!"

Jacob-Wolf made no sound, but there was faint amusement in his eyes. He took a small step forward, watching me uncertainly. His nostrils were twitching in irritation at my scent. Though all of my instincts were shrieking at me to run, I stood and forced myself forward, as well.

We faced eachother, two feet apart, vampire and werewolf.

Tentatively, I reached up and touched a furry ear with the tips of my fingers. He leaned into my hand appreciatively, and I gave it a good scratch. His hide was scorching hot against my cool skin, but it didn't hurt. Touching him felt so disturbingly wrong, but also kind of right at the same time.

_It's still Jake, _I told myself. _No matter what he looks like—or smells like._

And truly, the smell was repelling. I had learned to deal with Jacob's scent when he was in human form: now I would have to do the same thing with this stronger, much more offending version of the smell.

Mind over matter, Edward had once said to me. I was beginning to understand what he had meant.

I sighed, stroking Jake's ear one last time before I pulled away. The big wolf looked at me for a long moment before stretching and sitting on his haunches. "Thanks, Jacob," I murmured.

I could tell that he understood.

His eyes were satisfied as he watched me. _What now? _He seemed to be asking. I frowned at him, sitting back down on the warm, moist grass. "Can't you just change back?" I asked. Suddenly, Jacob-Wolf's eyes grew wide with horror. He wagged his head back and forth fervently.

"But why not?" I wanted to know. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a shred of blue cloth—Jake's shorts.

I laughed—I couldn't help it! "Oh," I said. "Right. Well, where can we get you new clothes? Back to Billy's?"

He wagged his head again.

"Yeah," I agreed, thinking about it. Billy would definitely ask questions.

"Sam's house?" I guessed. He was the pack leader, after all.

This time, the wolf nodded. He got up to go in front of me; I hadn't been by any of the houses before.

"Lead the way," I urged, smiling faintly. "Maybe you'll be able to 'match my speed' like you said that first night."

Jacob flashed his teeth at me in a wolfy grin, accepting the challenge. He took off into the forest like the stone from a slingshot, with me hot on his heels.

It turns out, he _did _match me—matched me exactly. As we ran through the woods, his canine lope peered my smooth stride perfectly. Both of us tried to gain on the other, but we would just fall back into sync a moment later.

The force of my speed flung my long hair back, and I laughed with exhilaration. Never before had I had anyone to share the thrill with, someone to understand my love for running in the forest. But Jacob seemed to be enjoying himself just as much as I was. It was common ground, I thought mildly: probably the only common ground we had left.

I was amazed at how speedily and silently he maneuvered around the trees, being so large and heavy. It was comical to remember how loud and clumsy he had been when we had used to hike together—nothing on me, of course.

Suddenly, Jacob-Wolf stopped. I could hear sounds of movement coming from far off, probably from inside the house.

He aimed a sharp glance at me, indicating that I was to stay here while he went on—keeping me away from the humans, I knew—and I nodded in acknowledgement. He dashed off, towards the sounds, and I sat down to wait.

Well, that hadn't been so bad, I thought to myself. One down, four to go.

I decided that I might as well get past the other four as soon as possible: the sooner I did, the sooner I could join them in their Victoria hunt. And at least _that _would at least give me something to do.

A minute later, Jacob came in through the trees, clad in a new pair of shorts and wearing a proud grin on his face. Ignoring that disconcerting scent of his, I leapt forward and threw my arms around him.

"Thanks again, Jake."

"No problem, Bella," said Jake in a slightly pained tone, wrinkling his nose. "Now, get off of me."

**Author's Note: Chapter Six, folks! Are you happy? Many thanks to the ever-helpful and talented Lomesir. Please read and review if you enjoyed it...oh, and read my latest one-shot, Nothing. It fits into B&B and it holds some information concerning the story. Please review that one, too. **

**--Poola**


	7. Chapter 7

**  
**

I had been planning my next move carefully since that first day with Jake. I began marking the days that Sam took a break from his shift—he was the only wolf, other than Jacob, that I knew I didn't need to worry about.

Jake seemed, to some degree, to know what I was up to. He had taken to giving me those uncharacteristically stern, warning looks whenever he mentioned hunting with the pack. He also had the tendency now to shoot quick, anxious glances at me, hoping in vain that I wouldn't catch them.

The days passed slowly, like weeks, as I waited to make my move. I knew that if I didn't do this, I would never be able to hunt Victoria, and ultimately never gain the trust of the pack. But that miniscule sense of self-preservation that I had left was fervently wondering how I would be able to face three werewolves, and keep them from killing me. I certainly wouldn't fight them…and I had never been very persuasive…!

But today, finally, I was going to do it. Sam was at home, getting what little rest he could, while Jake, Embry, Jared and Paul were wandering the woods. I knew exactly what I was going to say to them, and had carefully weighed all of the possibilities of the meeting's outcome. Some of the possibilities weren't all that pleasant…but I would worry about that later.

Right now I was gliding through the forest, trying to catch the pack's scent. They were elusive today, as if they knew what my plan was. Had Jacob warned them? It was raining lightly now, and I could hear all of the little creatures scurrying into their homes to escape the water. I laughed to myself as I dodged the raindrops.

Abruptly, as I ran, I was hit with a strong, oddly familiar scent. It took me a second to understand what it was, as I had been occupied with trying to catch the pack's odor. The scent was sweet and fragrant; familiar, though I had never come across it before. In a quick moment, as I've said, I knew. The familiarity I felt was for that of my own race.

Victoria had been here.

Quickly I scanned my surroundings for something to mark this spot by. There was nothing to set it apart, only bush and bramble, rocks, and trees—endlessly trees. Reluctantly, I abandoned the heady scent. _You have a job to do_, I reminded myself. _Get it over with. _

The next strong scent I came across was definitely the pack's. It was the same smell as always, but stronger, more concentrated. Nastier.

A woof of surprise from far off reached my ears, and I smiled nervously. Soon they would all know I was here. Slowly I approached, anxiety roiling in my frozen body. They were all perfectly still now, waiting for me. I could almost feel the fury rolling off of them.

When I entered a little clearing they came into my line of sight, I was reminded of just how _big _they were. None of them were as massive as Jacob, but they were all terribly, threateningly huge. The clearing seemed too small to contain their bulk.

By now I could recognize the wolves: Jared, the tan-ish brown; Embry, the darker brown; Paul, the silver; and my Jacob, the russet. None of them looked too happy to see me here—not all for the same reason, I was sure. Growls were erupting in their furry chests…

I lowered myself to the warm, mossy ground slowly, kept my eyes down despite their snarls. My mind was blank: I had forgotten all of my carefully constructed speech.

"Hi, Jake," I whispered, but my voice was smooth and clear. My eyes flicked up, for an instant, to Jacob-wolf's. His dark, mellow eyes were angry at me for coming here and putting myself at risk, and worried that I was going to get hurt.

I raised my head a fraction and was about to tell them that I was here to help when I noticed that not all of them were still. Paul-wolf and Jared-wolf were shifting, straining toward me involuntarily. With an equal amount of control over my actions, I shifted back.

"Please," I said. "I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to _help_."

While this seemed to mollify Embry-wolf somewhat, it only infuriated Jared and Paul. Their snarls echoed in the small clearing...a sigh of frustration escaped me. What was I going to do now?

"Jake," I said. "Help."

But Jake already seemed as if he were trying to calm the pack down. All of their dark eyes were on him; Jared seemed to be arguing. My eyes stayed focused on the ground as they bickered silently.

Paul-wolf was growling again; I could sense the thick muscles under his silver fur rippled as he took a step toward me. Jacob-wolf, seeing this, let loose with his own snarl.

No! This wasn't supposed to happen. I couldn't let them fight eachother, I had to keep talking. But what would I say? I had forgotten what to say.

Just as Jacob-wolf moved to take a defensive position in front of me, I made an utterly stupid mistake.

I looked up.

The sight of my blood-red eyes seemed to be the final straw for Jared and Paul. They threw themselves at me, their eyes wild; I had less than a second to react.

With my own little warning growl, I launched myself into a tree behind me. There was howling and snarling all around me: I recognized Jake's wolfy voice. My cool, rock-hard hands gripped one of the limbs of the tree, and I quickly began to pull myself up, scrambling to get out of their reach.

I wasn't quick enough, though. Two searing-hot sets of claws, like curved daggers, dug into my granite skin—pulling me down. I yelped, struggling to escape their painful grasp.

Something hot and furry hit me from the side, pushing me away from the claws and the tree. The Something was pinning me underneath it, and growling. My eyes opened, and I recognized the russet-brown fur: the Something was Jacob. I was still whimpering and shaking.

Jake kept me pinned underneath him for a while, snarling protectively. The snarl held the same note as it had with Edward, so long ago—back when Edward had loved me. The memory of his face, the sound of his name in my mind, caused me more pain than the gashes in my legs.

Finally, Jacob released his hold on me. I got up with a little difficulty, and faced him. "Thanks," I ground out. He nodded his large, wolf head, but his eyes were raking me over, taking in my wounds.

He growled slightly at the claw-marks deep in my legs—but seemed altogether pleased that I was alive.

I looked up; Embry seemed to be in a rather heated discussion with Jared and Paul, who had looks of frustrated guilt in their eyes.

"I came here to help," I announced shakily, interrupting their quarrel. "I want to hunt with the pack. You don't have even numbers without me, anyway. If you'll let me hunt with you, you'll be able to get more rest: two of you each day, instead of one."

All of the werewolves were looking at me in surprise—surprise that I still wanted to help after being attacked, and surprise that I had wanted to help in the first place.

Jake looked around at his brothers for a few minutes, listening to the voices that I couldn't hear…and nodded his head in affirmative. The nod was reluctant, but to me it was like open air to a caged bird.

"Good," I said, when there was silence. I expected them to start moving, or something, but they just stood there, watching eachother.

"Um," I added encouragingly.

The wolves looked at eachother with secret amusement, and the tan-brown wolf, Jared, gestured that I should follow him. His air was slightly apologetic, and I gave him a half-hearted smile.

The pain in my legs had dulled considerably, though the gash seemed only a little less deep. I wondered how long it would be until the cut was gone entirely.

My speed was unaffected by the wound, and I followed Jared-wolf without limping. Jared had a smaller build than the other wolves, but he was the fastest. He led the way, followed by Jacob and I; then Paul and Embry.

We were treading Uley land now. Embry stopped us just as we neared the house, and released a short, low-pitched howl, full of meaning—for all the world as if he were speaking in the language of his homeland.

Soon Sam emerged from the trees, his calm face confused and his brow furrowed. "Why—" he began, but stopped when he saw me. He saw the scars on my legs, and the un-shaking state of his brothers. He saw the satisfied shine in Jacob's dark eyes.

Sam's eyes filled with understanding then, and he looked as if a burden had been lifted from him. "Come on," he said, with a little sigh, nodding to the wolves. He held up a finger to me, to indicate that they'd only be gone a minute.

I nodded, and he led the werewolves out of the woods.

**Author's Note: Well, I submitted it. Huzzah? Many thanks to Lomesir for her editing superpowers. If you haven't already, read the two one-shots that fit into this story: Nothing, in Carlisle's POV; Something Wrong, in Emmett's POV. They'll help you understand a few things. Please review if you enjoyed this chapter.**

**--Poola**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"You coming, Bells?"

Jake had managed to find a few books from his sister's old room two days ago, along with the much-needed change of clothing. Right now I was in his garage, putting one of the books to good use.

"Coming where?" I responded automatically, looking up from the book.

Jacob's expression answered the question. One dark eyebrow was raised; his lips were curved in a satisfied smile. There was a gleam of excitement in his dark eyes.

"Oh, Jake!" I cried, rising and throwing myself at him. I didn't mind being close to him anymore; now that I had smelled him as a wolf, the smell of his human form barely bothered me at all.

But Jacob, who had always beamed at any sign of affection from me when I was human, stepped back.

"I had enough of that last time," he grumbled, but his tone was good-natured. Unexpectedly he put a hot hand to my cold cheek, applying a confusing amount of pressure.

Then his hand was withdrawn. Smiling wistfully, he beckoned for me to follow him.

"Who are we going with?" I asked, a little disconcerted by his actions.

"Embry and Sam," Jake replied. He was leading the way; I tried to stifle my impatience at his sluggish pace.

For a minute all was silent except for the crinkle of his feet on the ground. Then he said, "Oh, and Sam wants me to tell you some other stuff."

"Such as…?"

Jacob frowned a little. "It's going to be harder for you to track with us, because you're not a wolf. You won't be able to hear Sam's thoughts when he gives directions, and one of the most important things we use when we track Victoria is communication."

He grimaced. "So you're going to have to learn to interpret our all of our sounds and movements—and you'll have to figure them out fast. Sorry, Bella, but we can't afford for you to slow us down."

Nodding, I promised, "I won't slow you down."

"Good," said Jacob, apparently pleased, "but there's more."

I groaned.

With a chuckle, he continued. "Sam is the pack leader. For the rest of us, what he says, goes. It's a wolf thing. But since you're—"

"Since I'm not a wolf," I finished for him. "I'd gathered that."

Jacob shot me an annoyed look. "Stop interrupting and listen. Since you're not a wolf, Sam can't be sure that you'll obey him. And he's okay with that—as long as it doesn't mess things up for the pack. But just to be safe, he's gonna want you to make a promise to obey when he gives you a direct order."

"Umm, okay," I said. I hadn't known that so much would be expected of me. Now that I did, I was a little nervous. "But how will I know when he gives me a direct order?"

"That's where the interpretation comes in," Jacob answered. "We're hoping that you'll be able to figure it out."

I gave a little growl of irritation. He growled back playfully and asked, "Any questions?"

"Yeah," I snapped. "Why didn't Sam just tell me all of this himself?"

Jacob colored a tiny bit, and mumbled, "Sam thought you might take it better if I was the one to tell you."

I couldn't help but laugh at his discomfort. "Oh. Well, that's all right, then."

He grinned sheepishly at me. After a pause, he thought aloud, "This is just so weird. You hunting with the pack, I mean. I never would have thought…" He shrugged, embarrassed once again.

I knew what he was thinking. When I had become a vampire, he had expected me to head for the Cullens immediately.

"Weird," I agreed. "But wait—it's not really hunting, is it? I thought that you were just trying to keep her off your land."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah," said Jake. "It's just the word we use. A Wolf habit."

I nodded sagely; I'd heard of wolf habits.

The wolfy odor was becoming stronger; we were getting nearer. "This is where you stop," said Jacob. "Hold tight for a sec, I'll be right back."

He did come right back a minute later—as a wolf. He was as gigantic and intimidating as ever. His head tilted to one side as he looked at me with dark eyes, and he seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

"You're very big," I commented, my tone congratulatory. Jacob-wolf rolled his eyes and, with an infinitesimal flick of his ear, signaled for me to follow him.

When Jake and I found them, the werewolves were lying in the grass. Their heads rested on their paws; they looked up at us lazily.

"Morning," I murmured, scratching Embry-wolf affectionately behind the ears and nodding to Sam-wolf.

At Jacob's woof of encouragement, I turned to back to Sam and spoke, feeling like an idiot.

"I understand your situation, Sam," I said, "and I promise to obey any direct orders you choose to give me."

Sam-wolf's expression was amused, but his little half-growl of acknowledgement was free of any emotion. He stood, making a lot of noise and signaled for us to follow with a twitch of his black ear, before loping off in a westward direction.

Jacob-wolf and I were both about as fast as Sam. Jake, as a sign of respect, always stayed behind the pack leader, so I did the same. Embry was a little slower than us three, but he managed to keep without too much difficulty.

It was soon very clear that I had my work cut out for me. What with all of the running and dodging the trees, it was difficult to discern to the meanings behind the wolves' movements. All I understood so far was this:

A flick or twitch of an ear was a signal to follow.

Teeth snapping together was a signal to halt.

A tilt of the head to the left side told us to slow down; a tilt to the right told us to speed up.

A widening of the nostrils meant that the wolf had caught the scent.

Both ears perking up meant that we should be quiet.

A lot of Sam's orders were given through his tail, too. A quick swish told the wolves to lie down on the ground; a slower one told them to sit. Sam's tail also dictated our direction—that was particularly hard to keep track of. The tail wasn't very interesting or attractive, after all, and I had to keep reminding myself to watch it.

We spent the day like that, running along the perimeter of the La Push land. Often I strayed to the rear of the pack so that I could inspect the werewolves' movements more clearly.

During that day I learned that what the pack did wasn't just aimless wandering in search of Victoria's scent. They seemed to be governed by trails of some kind—like roads. To me it had just been forest before; now I realized that there were distinct pathways.

Sometimes I or one of the other wolves would catch her scent as we ran. The nostrils would widen, growls would rumble in chests, and we would veer off course to follow it.

Today, however, I also learned that catching a vampire's scent is one thing, and actually _finding _them is another. Victoria's smell was everywhere—there wasn't a corner of the woods that she hadn't traversed.

The one other thing that caught my attention during the tracking session was that there was a pack _order. _The strongest distinction, of course, was between the alpha wolf and the rest…but there was also a deeper, more subtle chain of command.

When I thought about what I had seen before of the pack's behavior, I designed this pack order in my head:

Sam

Jacob

Paul

Jared

Embry

…

Me

Naturally, I hadn't gained any respect with the pack yet. I, not being a wolf, wasn't a true member of the pack, I was an outsider…a vampire.

Finally, Sam signaled us to turn around and head for home. It was probably around twelve or one o'clock in the morning.

My eyes instinctively sought Jake. When they found him he was looking right back at me, his expression unreadable.

I smiled brightly at him, as if to say, 'See how well everything's gone?' He didn't smile back, however. A look of utter hopelessness crossed his face before he turned and followed the others.

For some reason, it reminded me of when Jacob touched my cheek earlier this morning. The caress had been filled with affection, love even, but it had been pushing me away.

**Author's Note: So sorry for making you all wait. It was weird for a while because I kept getting inspiration for chapters _other _than Chapter Eight. So now I've pretty much written the whole rest of the story, and all I have to do is submit the chapters. **

**Many thanks to my grand, German-speaking beta Lomesir, who has also adopted the role of cheerleader during my periodic stages of writer's block. Thanks as well to you guys for reading. As always, please review if you enjoyed it. **

**--Poola**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

I didn't really know why I was in Emily's cleaning closet.

There had been no reason for me to enter her house—a lot of reasons why I _shouldn't_, actually. But something had seemed to be drawing me there, like a gravitational pull.

Maybe it was just curiosity. The wolves had mentioned Emily many times in the past weeks that I'd been tracking with them, and I had wondered often what she looked like, after being "hurt real bad" by Sam.

It was nighttime. I had just taken a tracking shift with Sam, Paul and Embry; Jake was probably expecting me home by now.

Her scent was everywhere around the house—potent, mouthwatering, but not more than I could handle. Definitely curious by this time, I had entered her house through the unlocked back door.

I'd heard her coming down the stairs, and opened the first door I encountered.

So here I was, now, in Emily's cleaning closet, watching her through the crack in the door.

I could tell that she had been pretty before Sam's attack. The unmarred half of her face was flawless and lovely.

The other half, however, was scarred beyond redemption. The score marks trailed down all the way to her arm. I shuddered to think what pain had been inflicted with those wounds.

Emily didn't seem to notice her disfigurement anymore, or perhaps she didn't care. She wiped the oven-top gaily, singing softly to herself. Every few minutes she would glance at the little clock in the corner.

Entranced, I watched her dance from counter to counter as she tidied up her kitchen. She seemed so light and carefree, so beautiful and full of life…so _human_.

My reverie was interrupted when a new and familiar scent caught in my nostrils. Naturally, it was Sam's.

Now it occurred to me that it hadn't been the best idea to come here. Sam was sure to be extremely protective of Emily. I was a vampire, dangerous…

But then I felt something tugging at me in the back of my brain. It was a human memory, hazy and fuzzy compared to the others.

_"Don't worry about it," Alice said. It was summertime, Edward was hunting, and she been sent to keep me company. "He's going to change you eventually, Bella. It's not so much an 'if' as a 'when'."_

_"Hmm," I said, disbelieving. Edward had already made his intentions perfectly clear on that subject—I was sure that only by some miracle would he change his mind now._

_Alice ignored my reluctance. "We'll have to leave Forks, of course," she said to herself, planning. Her assurance gave me a little more confidence. "And we'll have to stay a way from the population for a couple of years—maybe Denali—"_

_"Wait," I interrupted. "We'll have to stay away from the population?"_

_Alice gave a chimy laugh. "Of course, silly. Vampires can't be around humans at allduring the first year. The bloodlust is much too strong. Like…like if you were an Edward, and every single human was another Bella. Or nearly that bad, anyway."_

_"But Edward didn't kill me," I pointed out._

_Alice glanced at me, amused. "Edward had been abstaining for about a hundred years," she said. "When you're a new vampire, you won't have that."_

_"Alice," came Edward's irritated voice from downstairs._

_She laughed again. "Only a matter of time, Edward," she called back._

Like every human was another Bella, Alice had said. But I was in the same room with Emily now, and I was fine—it hadn't been a year already, had it?

The doorbell was ringing. Emily was running to answer it…maybe if I could just slip out without Sam noticing…

"Sam," said Emily. The unconditional love and thoughtless devotion in her voice tore at the hole in my chest.

I felt Sam stiffen in the next room, and heard the tiniest bit of a growl. "What is it?" Emily asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing, Em. I'm fine."

They came into my full view; Sam sat down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table and pulled Emily into is lap. Her petite form looked almost comical against Sam's; he towered over her in the same way that Jacob towered over me.

I also noticed how tired Sam looked, despite the new tracking arrangements. It made me consider taking double shifts.

"How did it go?" Emily asked, sounding worried.

Sam shrugged around her. "The same. She's been a little less careful with where she hunts, though, ever since…since a few weeks ago. It's almost as if she plans on meeting us eventually. I wonder why that is."

"Just be careful," Emily begged.

He laughed. "Don't worry about us," he said. "We're made for the job." She didn't respond.

Sam paused for a moment, twirling the little engagement ring around her finger. Then he spoke up.

"I'll take you out tonight," he said. Emily couldn't hear it, but I caught the weariness in his voice and grimaced with sympathy. "You go ahead and get the car, I'll be there in a minute." He smiled at her, and she complied.

A second later, the door of Emily's closet was open, and Sam was facing me. Never before had I seen such rage in his dark eyes; he was shaking so hard that I was sure he was going to change on the spot.

"If you ever"—he fought the shudders—"come near her again, I will—"

"Stop, Sam," I pleaded, cutting him off. Honestly, I was scared. If I were a dog, my tail would be between my legs and I would be rolling on my back in apology.

"Why are you here?" he growled. He had regained some of his composure, but his eyes were still furious.

I muttered, "I'm not sure. But it's not what you think it is, Sam, I was never going to hurt her."

He clenched his fists. "You don't have any control over that, Bella," he said, in a forcedly calm tone.

Now I was angry. "But I do! A regular newborn vampire would have killed her in a second, wouldn't they? But there I was, hiding in her cleaning closet. Explain that, Sam!"

His eyes narrowed in confusion. "So you weren't tempted to hurt her at all, then, is that what you're saying?"

"Of course I was tempted," I answered, casually. "But I could take it."

Sam sighed and gave me a long look. "What are you?" he said, half to himself. It seemed as if he didn't know what to make of me, which bin I belonged in.

Sam had never revealed any of his emotions to me before; it was disconcerting. Still, my voice was confident as I replied, "I'm a vampire."

He shook his head. "No, not a vampire," he disagreed. "Not quite. I remember the Cullens,"—I winced slightly—"and I remember what they were like. Old, wise, civil, courteous. That's not you, Bella."

I glared at him, insulted.

"One day," he continued, more calmly, "you may leave to find them, and then you'll be a vampire. But not now."

Laughing mirthlessly, I asked, "Because I run with werewolves?"

He nodded, agreeing. "That's part of it."

"Right," I muttered. "Well, thanks for that. It seems I'm not a vampire. What do you think I am, then?" I didn't realize that he had posed the same question a minute ago.

Sam ran a hand through his dark, short-cropped hair. "I'm not sure," he said. "But I think, someday soon, that you're going to have to make a choice."

"Sam?" called Emily's voice.

"Go," I said. "I'm going hunting. Not that I'd need to, of course, since I'm not a vampire, but I think I'll do it anyway."

In a few seconds I was out of the house, taking the back way to the forest for fear that Emily would see me when they pulled the car out of the driveway.

My thoughts were wild as I ran. The curiosity about my lack of bloodlust was overcome by the indignation at Sam's statement.

So Sam didn't think I had the proper qualifications for a vampire. Not a normal one, anyway. I wasn't a werewolf, either, and I certainly wasn't human.

So what was I? It reminded me of those 'who am I' riddles Renee had used to pose for me when I was little.

Except this time, there wasn't an answer. The character was nameless.

Inexplicably, my mind turned to three people at once: Alice, Jacob, and Emily. That particular trio was really ridiculous, I knew. But there was one thing in common between them, something that I lacked. Alice, Jacob, and Emily were three people of their own respective races, three people sure in their own existence. Three people, each with some kind of family, some kind of place where they belonged.

I was jealous of them all.

**Author's Note: Well, that was Chapter Nine. Thanks for reading. A special thank you to Lomesir for taking all of the first-drafts I fling at her, and doing an exceptional job with them. Please review if you enjoyed this chapter. **

**--Poola**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

The day came when, as the pack and I went out to hunt Victoria, we caught a scent much more recent than the others.

It was Embry that smelled it at first, though I caught it less than a second later. His massive, furry body suddenly became rigid, the nostrils widened. His teeth snapped together sharply, and the sound held such a note of finality that all us, even Sam, turned and responded to his signals.

The werewolves sat, lifted their muzzles and sniffed at the air. It only took a moment for them to catch it, as well. The rumblings of triumphant snarls echoed in the empty spaces between the trees.

Sam-wolf checked us all with his own sharp, urgent growl. He looked very hard at the other wolves, and though I couldn't hear his thoughts, I was sure he was telling them to concentrate and be quieter than ever—that 'this was not a drill', and that sort of thing.

Then Sam looked at me. By now, I understood all of the werewolves' unconscious gestures that I could roughly interpret the message he was sending me.

_This is for real. Fresh trail. Are you coming? _

"Yes, yes," I breathed.

_Then be quick and quiet. If you smell a change, tell._

Sam-wolf's eyes and manner were so authoritative that I lowered my eyes and bent my head in submission. Seeming satisfied at my behavior, he turned away and his ear flicked in a signal to follow.

The pack was magnificent this afternoon, and I felt more part of it than I had in all of the other weeks put together. All of the wolves' gestures were easier to understand. The pack seemed to recognize and follow Sam-wolf's signals before he had even made them. There was no distinction between each individual; we tracked Victoria as one entity, a single unit.

We chased her scent with the silence of a ghost and the speed of a shadow. To human eyes, all of us together would have been no more than a dark blur, suddenly there and suddenly gone. I ran alongside Jacob, as always, but today there was no difference between us, no strict barrier that separated our species. For those few hours that we hunted Victoria—and those hours alone—I had the mentality of a werewolf.

Our anticipation grew as we neared her and the scent became stronger. She wasn't running away, this time—she was waiting for us. The calm, vampire voice in the back of my mind told me that she must have a reason for waiting, that there was something wrong, but I paid it no heed. Like the wolves around me, I lived in the moment.

Victoria was sitting on a boulder the first time I saw her. Her eyes were as maliciously crimson as they had been when I'd last seen them: her startling stark red hair was thrown back in disarray by the howling wind. Her smile, when she saw me, was delighted.

Threatening growls were erupting all around me. The logical vampire voice was urgently trying to tell me something.

Victoria rose to her feet with feline grace. The very small step back she took didn't seem at all fearful or worried.

Sam had signaled the wolves to surround her, but not to close in yet. His dark eyes were distinctly puzzled; he seemed to be struggling, like me, with some insistent idea.

When Paul-wolf took his first step toward her, it came to me.

Victoria wasn't an idiot. She wasn't here to be killed by the werewolves. And if they tried, I knew now that she would escape somehow—run up a tree, or something like that. What she _was _here for was me. _I _was the only reason that could persuade her to come so near to a pack of werewolves. And I was also the only reason she would stay.

So I was the one who would have to kill her.

Gone were my feelings of anticipation and confidence, as well as my feelings of indistinction and pack-unity; rather, I felt more alone than I had in my life. My melodious voice sounded small and meek in my own ears as I mumbled, "Wait. Don't attack her—I'm the one she wants."

Jacob-wolf and the rest of the pack turned their heads away from Victoria, their eyes wide with astonishment.

**Author's Note: There's chappy ten for you. The story's getting along, isn't it--ten chapters! Having only done one-shots before, I never would have believed it of myself. The chapter's a pretty short one this time. Sorry. **

**Many thanks to my dear friend and extraordinary beta, Lomesir. Oh, I got my one-hundredth review a couple of days ago. Thank you all so much for reading and giving me feedback, I really appreciate it. And a****s always, please review if you enjoyed this one. **

**--Poola**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Sam was thinking fast, his eyes flickering between Victoria and me. After a moment he nodded reluctantly. As I approached her, my face wary, Jacob's desperate whines sounded in my ears.

"Hello, Victoria," I said. My voice was stone cold, and oddly polite.

"Bella Swan." Victoria inclined her head, fiery hair billowing in the fierce wind. Her voice—I had never heard it before—was not musical like that of the other vampires I'd encountered. To me, though, it was perversely captivating, and I found myself wanting to hear her speak again.

The wolves watched the exchange with intent, guarded eyes, but their anxiety was evident. Jacob was panicking, shifting from paw to paw and whimpering with hysteria. I could almost hear Sam's cautioning in his mind.

"Well," I murmured, "we might as well get this over with." I smiled grimly, unwilling to betray my fear. "I'm what you came for, right?"

Victoria's teeth gleamed in the faint light as she smiled. "Why, yes," she agreed in a soft purr. "But there's no need to rush—I've been waiting for this for a long time."

She slowly began to circle, her bloody eyes surveying me with a strange, twisted greed. I forced myself not to shift in response, but my own eyes followed her.

"I would think that you would be eager," I ground out. "You having such a personal interest in my demise, and all."

Her voice was slightly more dangerous than before. "Ah. But this is not all as personal as you might think, Bella Swan. An eye for an eye, that's all. A mate for a mate. Though, it seems now that yours didn't feel for you so, after all..."

An involuntary cry of pain tore from my lips; the hole in my chest cracked open.

"Yes," Victoria whispered, her face full of recognition. "You feel it, as well. But there is the difference between us. My James was torn away from me… your Edward didn't care enough to stay."

Jacob's enraged growl only lasted for a moment before it was silenced by Sam. I clenched my fists and teeth, struggling with the urge to wrap my arms around my chest.

She was right, that was the problem. She was absolutely right. Edward hadn't cared enough about me to stay.

I stared at her in silence, unwilling to lower my chin in acquiescence and also unwilling to lift it in rebellion. How could I challenge her when what she said was true?

It suddenly occurred to me that Victoria was lucky. When James died, at least she had known that he cared about her. At least she had that to hold onto.

I, unlike her, didn't have that. All I had were memories—dim, beautiful human memories that tore at my insides to even think about. Memories of the vampire who hadn't really loved me all as much as he said.

So what right had she to kill me, when she was better off than I was? Victoria _was _right; that was the injustice of it all. I wasn't Edward's mate—I never had been in the first place!

At this wild thought, all sadness was replaced with anger. My world was tinted with red; Victoria's eyes and flaming hair dominated my vision. A deep, guttural growl, unlike any other I had given, began rumbling in my chest.

The vampire instincts were beginning to take over. That ever-familiar Run or Fight, Run or Fight, was pulsing in my head—but there was no doubt in my mind which one I would choose.

I would fight. I was scared as hell, but I would fight.

Never before had I revealed my inner animal around the pack: I let it take over now, let it flare in my eyes and alter my posture. Suddenly I felt fiercely uninhibited, savage. My shoulders rippled back, and I raised my chin and bared my teeth in defiance. "Mate for mate, then," I challenged, falling into a crouch. "Avenge your precious James, Victoria. I'm ready."

Everything happened very quickly.

Victoria threw herself at me, snarling with rage, and I launched myself forward to meet her attack. We collided with a deafening crash.

Wolves' howls were loud in my ears as we grappled, tearing and biting at each other with feral energy, rolling on the warm ground, snapping at each other's throats, each of us desperately trying to gain the upper hand. Fear clawed at my stomach as I fought for my life.

I wouldn't be able to tell how long we struggled. Victoria and I were so evenly matched that it seemed impossible for one of us to gain dominance. My newborn-vampire strength was set off by her years of fighting experience.

It was as if both of us were fueled by our own misery and pain, striving unceasingly to overwhelm the opponent with its force. In the end, it didn't matter which of us was stronger or faster or a better fighter. All that mattered was whose pain was greater.

And it was mine.

With a final growl, I wrapped my right leg around my adversary's, flipped her backwards, and tore my teeth into her throat. Her neck snapped back from the blow, and she suddenly became very still.

When I looked down into her frozen, dead face, her eyes were still full of fury and her lips still pulled back from her teeth in a grimace of hate. I shuddered once and pulled back, tearing my eyes away from her face.

I stood, wincing at the pain of my burning wounds, and faced the werewolves. They gazed back with a mixture of concern, relief, and pride. Sam-Wolf stepped forward, shaking out his black fur, his eyes gleaming in triumph.

Nodding at Jacob and his brothers, I spoke quietly. "Finish her."

Not wanting to watch as they complied, I turned away and began walking in the direction of Jake's house. The cuts and gashes covering my body were healing quickly. I wondered if they would leave permanent marks, like the wolf-claw scars on my legs.

But it didn't matter, I decided. I didn't need to fear for my life anymore; I was free. A weight was falling from my shoulders. It was all over.

Victoria was dead.

**Author's Note: There's chappy eleven for you. I remember when Beauty and the Beast was just an idea forming in my head--this chapter was one of the first things I imagined. Many, many thanks to Lomesir for being such an incredible beta. **

**And thanks to all you guys for reading...Well, how was the chapter? Please review, I crave feedback. **

**--Poola**


	12. Chapter 12

"See, Jake? Not a scratch."

Jacob glanced again at my bared arms. "Well, those took the longest to heal," he muttered defensively.

"It's only been two days, Jacob."

He nodded, his eyes thoughtful. "Well, those aren't ever healing," he said, gesturing at my legs. "It's been months."

I shrugged. The scars never bothered me. "It's probably because they were caused by werewolves."

"Do they hurt?" Jacob asked.

"Never," I assured him.

He sighed. "Okay."

It had been two days since my confrontation with Victoria, and Jake had only just now gotten up from his long-postponed, much needed sleep. I was sure that the other pack members had been spending the time the same way.

Jake and I were sitting together under an elm tree, our backs against the thick, mossy trunk. There was a rare shortage of clouds today, and the sun beamed down on my alabaster skin, causing a gem-like sparkle.

Jacob gazed at my glittering skin with open unease, and something like curiosity. He reached out to touch my hard shoulder cautiously, as if he expected it to attack at any moment. I looked back at him, with a 'no, I'm not going to bite you' smile.

Reassured, he withdrew his hand and allowed his chin to rest on the exact spot he had touched before.

We sat like that in friendly silence for a while.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jacob said this very suddenly and explosively, as if he had been trying to suppress it for a long time.

I didn't like his voice, the bitter note of betrayal in it. "Tell you what?" I asked automatically.

"You know. About Victoria. 'I'm the one she wants'—or have you forgotten already?"

I ignored his sarcasm, and tried to think of a way that would explain my reasoning without upsetting him. "Well," I finally said, without much conviction, "you would never have let me hunt with the pack."

"And that's a bad thing? Ugh!" Jake pulled away from my shoulder and pressed two russet fists against his eyes. "Seriously, Bells, do you have a death wish? Vampires, werewolves, Victoria…why did you _want _to fight her?"

"I have to let my frustrations out on someone," I replied dryly, smiling without humor.

He removed his hands from his eyes and looked at me. When they met mine, his black eyes were sharp, accusing. "Bella," he said slowly, "I've done everything I could do—and some things that I _couldn't _do—to protect you from the pack, to keep you safe. I've worked around Sam's orders and fought with my own brothers so that you could stay alive. And now you tell me," he paused, building steam, "that you totally ignored that and risked your life 'cause you were _bored_?"

I winced as his words sunk in. He was right, and I had no defense.

But deep down, I was unapologetic. I had _needed _to be able to fight Victoria, needed to have some control over all of these things that were happening to me. I felt like the pawn on a chessboard, being ceaselessly thrown about against my will. It was true that I'd had to let my frustrations out on someone—Jacob just didn't seem to understand how true it was.

"Aww, Jacob," I said, making my voice persuasive. "All I wanted to do was to keep you from being upset. And I wanted to help the pack, too, I saw how tired you guys were after all those hours without sleep. You would have done the same thing if you were me—you know you would."

He leaning his head back against the tree's trunk. "Is this supposed to be making me feel better?" he asked, still annoyed.

My voice became even more wheedling. "Would you feel better if I told you I was sorry?"

"No."

I sighed, finally exasperated. "Alright, Jake. How about if I tell you I'll never do it again?"

Jacob laughed suddenly. "Naw, I wouldn't want you to lie to me, Bells. Forget about it. Sorry I'm such a grump."

"It's okay," I replied. "I'm no better than you are."

He laughed again, and a new spark came into his eyes. "Hey Bella," he said, pulling me to my feet, "you remember when I promised that we'd go cliff diving one of these days?"

"Mmhmm?"

"Well, why not today? I'm sure no one's going to be around—and it's not like I have to worry about you drowning anymore." He grinned at me.

"That…that sounds great, Jake." I remembered why I'd first wanted to go cliff diving. The reason wasn't credible anymore; I would probably never hear that voice again. The old combination—adrenaline plus danger plus stupidity—wouldn't do anything for me now. To a young vampire, after all, there's nothing strange about any of those factors.

"Then let's go!" He took off, running through the woods as fast as his human form could take him. I hadn't seen him so excited about such a trivial thing for as long as I could remember.

It didn't take us too long to get to the cliff site. A little longer because of the fact that Jacob was in human form, but not too long.

After taking one glance at the cliff, I turned back toward the trees and started in the opposite direction. There were four other people already there.

"Wait, Bella, it's the guys!" Jake called after me.

"Hey," said Sam. His voice was unmistakable.

We hurried over to join the pack at the cliff's edge. "How long have you guys been down here? And why wasn't I invited?" Jacob's voice was annoyed.

"We called, but Billy told us you were still asleep," Sam explained.

"We figured that you needed all the beauty sleep you could get," added Jared.

"It still hasn't done much for him, has it?" Embry observed, looking Jacob up and down.

"Shut up," growled Jacob playfully, grinning. "So are we gonna jump or what?"

We settled into a line, the boys talking and laughing and shoving to get in front of each other. Sam, naturally, was permitted by all to jump first. I watched with delight as he spun and twisted in midair, imagining the feeling of it.

Paul looked over at me and grimaced at the active diamond facets in my skin. "Leech," he muttered. As if I hadn't noticed.

"Mutt," I snapped back quickly. Paul looked away scowling, but the corners of his mouth quirked up a little.

My turn came up quickly. I looked down into the water, at Sam and Paul and Jacob swimming for shore with smooth, even sweeps of their arms. Half-heartedly, already knowing that it wouldn't, I waited for the voice to come.

Jared, mistaking my waiting for nervous hesitation, said from behind me, "Go ahead, Bella. It's great."

I jumped.

Exhilarated laughter bubbled in my chest and rushed past my lips. This was even better than I'd thought it would be. The sense of danger wasn't there as it probably would have been if I was still human, but there was still the feeling of weightlessness, of freedom. Instead of twisting and bending like Sam had, but pulled my torso forward into a dive. I could feel the air pressing up around me, almost solid in its force. The moment before I touched them, I saw my reflection in the waves. My face: excited, pale, and beautiful, framing butterscotch eyes.

_Butterscotch eyes. _

Suddenly, I understood why Jake was more comfortable around me nowadays…why when he looked at me now, he seemed less disgusted with what he saw.

So I'd already been a vampire for a year, then. How time flew.

I smiled quickly at my reflection, proud of my new eyes and what they signified. This change made me feel somehow close to the Cullens—one Cullen in particular—despite the fact that I was probably never going to see any of them again.

Whoops and yells sounded above me as I stabbed the water like a pencil.

The water was warm, much warmer than I was. I swam to shore underwater, toying with the sensation of not breathing. As Edward had told me once, it _was _a little uncomfortable.

When I resurfaced, Jacob was waiting for me. He pulled me out of the water, soaked and laughing. The droplets of moisture created new diamonds on my skin in the sunlight.

"Again?" asked Jacob, smiling.

"Sure."

**Author's Note: Hey, guys. Here's a very fluffy chapter twelve. It's kind of filling in empty space between the last twist and the next one. (Yes, there is another one. This is not the end!) **

**I know it's been a long time since I posted--Eclipse, doncha know. And oh, speaking of Eclipse: The third book in the Twilight trilogy has really changed the way I see some of the characters. For a while after reading it, I considered not finishing BandB at all, because of how much it changed my thinking. But I've decided to continue the story, and continue it the way I planned to before Eclipse. So keep that in mind, please, and don't get mad at me for allowing Jake to be a good guy. **

**Thanks for reading this one, and again, sorry for the wait. Please review if you enjoyed it. **

**--Poola**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

My new eyes had given me resolve; I was going to check on Charlie.

It was nighttime, the safest of times for me. I didn't rush as I passed into Cullen territory, keeping my pace at a slow, lazy stroll. The trees were peaceful tonight, somehow exuding contentment as the slight drizzle sifted through their leaves. I marveled at how _comfortable_ I felt in the forest now, remembering how I had hated the trees when I first came to Forks.

Cullen land was less familiar to me than Quileute. My feet were not as sure as before, uncertain. I hadn't been much on this side of the line, after all. Most of the time I'd spent in Cullen forest was on Edward's back—and I'd always kept my eyes firmly shut the whole time.

When I finally reached sight of the house I stopped, rocking back on my heels. Human memories flooded my mind, reminding me of the happiness I'd felt within those walls. And reminding me that those experiences were lost to me forever…as were the house and the man who lived in it.

Anticipating the pain that this visit would cause me, my mind urged me to turn around, to head back toward Jake. But my heart—cold and dead as it was—needed me to see Charlie.

In a few seconds I had approached the house, grabbed the key from under the eave, unlocked the door, and put the key back. Silently, gingerly, I entered my former home.

I was greeted by chaos. Clothes and newspapers were strewn on the floor, unheeded probably for weeks. Dirty dishes littered the kitchen table and piled high in the sink. The house was in complete disarray. But even with all of the clutter, the house felt empty. Vacant, unoccupied space. If I hadn't already heard Charlie's snores, I wouldn't have believed that anyone lived here at all.

Slowly and deliberately, I walked through the house in the dark, sizing up the damage I had done. Every piece of clothing thrown negligently aside, every dirty plate on the kitchen counter, was proof of Charlie's pain. Charlie's pain, and my fault. All my fault.

My hands itched for the cleaning utilities under the sink, for the vacuum and the duster in the closet. But I knew that I couldn't give myself away like that, no matter how much I wanted to erase what I saw. I had to protect Charlie, to keep him oblivious. It was the least I could do, after all of the pain I'd caused for him.

With worry deep in my stomach, I climbed the stairs. I remembered to avoid the creaking step at the very last second.

I'd meant to go straight for Charlie's room, but something else caught my attention before I could. The door to my room wasn't shut, as I had expected it to be, but wide open—as wide as it would go.

I frowned, puzzled. This was the room that would cause him the most pain, and yet he didn't shut the door… This certainly wasn't _my _style. If it had been me, that door would have stayed firmly shut for the rest of my life.

Still confused and a little concerned, I turned to open the door to Charlie's room. A gust of air hit me as I opened it, and the scent of his blood made me stiffen. I paused for a moment before I crept closer.

Charlie's bedroom was almost clean in comparison to the rooms downstairs. There was only a little clutter; the lack of which, however, was made up in pictures. It seemed as though every picture of me that he owned was on his bed table. Photos of me in almost every stage of growth, along with every one of my school pictures.

Again, I was perplexed. This was so unlike what I'd expected. I had expected the house to be cleaned, all of the pictures tucked away, my bedroom door shut. I'd expected him to hide away anything that would remind him of the pain. But instead, he put all of the reminders in plain sight—almost deliberately, it seemed. Charlie had never seemed to be much of a masochist…

But then I looked at my father's face, unguarded and open in sleep, and I understood perfectly.

This was Charlie's way of dealing with my death. I hadn't recognized it at first, because his reaction was so different from what mine had been. Charlie welcomed reminders of me, looked for them everywhere he went. He'd gathered every little piece of me he had left—the pictures, my bedroom—and pulled them closer to him. He probably came into my room often. I could almost see him sitting in my rocking chair, or touching the clothes in my closet.

Where I had pushed the memories away to the farthest point of my mind, he clung to them desperately, like a lifeline. Because that was the only way he could be close to me. Because if he let me go, if he stopped filling his mind with the memories, he knew that he would become on the outside what he was on the inside: an old man, all alone, crumpled and broken.

Stung by this epiphany, I took a step back from where Charlie lay on the bed. "Dad," I whispered, my voice choked with pain, too low for him to hear. I longed to shake him till he woke up, to tell him that I was alive. Or at least, less dead than he thought I was.

But I couldn't do that. It would just cause him more pain, and put him in more danger. All I could really do was hope that, someday, his pain would lessen.

Somehow, I knew that this would be my last goodbye to Charlie. Pain sank, like lead, in my chest. "Well, Dad," I murmured, "I just came to check on you—and to tell you that I'm okay. I hope you heard that last part, somehow. And I want you to know that I'm sorry…about everything." Acting on a whim, I stepped forward and touched his arm. "I love you, Dad," I said, a little louder than before. "Be happy as soon as you can."

Charlie muttered uneasily in his sleep, and he cringed away from my cold skin.

"Bye," I mumbled, taking one last look at his face, and left the room.

I had meant to leave the house quickly after that, but something stopped me as I passed by the kitchen. There was something shiny at the bottom of the otherwise-empty garbage basket. Bending forward, I realized what it was.

It was a beer bottle, unopened, thrown unceremoniously into the trashcan.

Seeing this caused me almost as much pain as my earlier epiphany. I could imagine what had happened: Charlie in the grocery store, eyeing the bottle helplessly, imagining it as a medicine for the pain. And then Charlie at home, realizing what he was doing, dumping the bottle in the trash with self-contempt and disgust.

His scent was still on the bottle, relatively fresh, which meant that he'd bought it sometime today. Charlie probably wouldn't notice if it suddenly disappeared. He might even attribute the bottle to a dream.

I eyed the beer bottle, deliberating…and picked it up. I'd take it back to La Push with me. I could do this much for Charlie.

After locking the house back up, I turned and headed for Quileute land. The trails were more obvious the second time I followed them. Uneasiness settled in my stomach as I ran, and the feeling didn't have anything to do with my visit. Though the woods were still calm, there was the hint of an unfamiliar scent on the air, too faint for me to make out—and the unshakable feeling that I was being followed.

Jacob was waiting for me on the other side of the line. "What were you doing in Cullen territory? And why do you have a beer in your hand?"

"I went to check on Charlie," I said. My reply answered both questions.

Jacob frowned as that registered. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly.

"_Me_? Peachy-keen."

"Huh," was all Jake said. He turned and walked towards a tree that stood a few feet from the line. I followed him, setting the beer-bottle on the ground. We sat, leaning against the wide trunk. Jacob rested his chin on my shoulder, as he often did now when we were alone. We stayed like that in contented silence for a while, staring up at the moon. It was only a sliver of a moon tonight, the gleaming grin of a Cheshire cat.

Sometimes I wonder where I would be now if I hadn't stayed there that night—if I had jumped to my feet and continued toward Jacob's house, pulling him along with me. Would nothing have changed? Would I be sitting under a tree with Jake right now, talking and laughing?

But it doesn't matter, because I did stay. I stayed long enough to hear someone approach behind me, and for a strong, strange scent to fill my nostrils.

A warning growl sounded in my chest, wild and threatening. Jacob and I turned slowly around to face the intruder. Jacob's hands were shaking.

But my growl was suddenly cut off, and my jaw dropped in shock as I saw the figure opposite me: a tall figure, burly, its pale skin gleaming softly in the moonlight.

Emmett.

**Author's Note: Chapter thirteen, my special gift to you all. I hope it made you as happy as it made my beta. A special thanks to said beta, Lomesir, and an apology for forgetting to aknowledge her in last chapter's author's note. ****Thanks for reading, folks, and please review if you enjoyed it. **

**--Poola**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Emmett's dark eyes were wide with incredulity. "_Bella_?" he gasped.

I ignored him for the moment, automatically sensing that Jacob was almost over the edge. "Jake," I murmured, taking his warm face in my white hands. They shook along with the rest of his body. "It's okay, Jake. It's a Cullen. Emmett Cullen. Focus. Calm down."

Jacob reluctantly focused his gaze on me. "Calm," he echoed. The shaking became less intense.

"That's right," I soothed. "Calm. Focus." Then I turned to look at Emmett, whose face was still disbelieving.

Emmett met my stare for another moment, stunned, and then suddenly a wide grin flashed across his face. "Bella!" He took an unconscious step toward me, his arms stretched wide to sweep me into a bear hug.

One step too far.

It took no more than a millisecond for Emmett to realize his mistake, and to step back over to his side. But it was too late.

"Jacob!" I screamed—once again, too late.

With one last shudder, Jacob exploded into his wolf form. An earsplitting howl, loud and long, sounded from between his teeth. I recognized the sound: it was the Red Alert call. He was summoning the others.

"Ugh, Jake, you _idiot_!" I clenched my fists in frustration. He didn't realize how much harder he had made things. And, from his expression, he didn't care. He growled softly, defensively at me, showing his canines. I hissed back, baring my teeth in kind.

"Bella?" Emmett's voice was confused. "What's going on? And why are you with a—"

"Be quiet, Emmett," I said, under my breath. "More of them are coming. _Ugh_! I don't want to have to deal with this. Emmett, just…don't say a word, okay? Leave the talking to me. And _whatever _you do, don't show any aggression."

I glanced at him—and almost snorted at my last remark. Even in one of his tender moments, Emmett would look aggressive. It was impossible for him not to look dangerous.

Jacob-wolf seemed to note this, too. He sat on his haunches, as tight and tense as the spring of a jack-in-the-box, watching Emmett. His look was heavy with abhorrence.

It was pitch-dark outside now, and uncharacteristically quiet. Animals in the immediate area had instinctively sensed the danger that we represented, and fled. The sliver of moon that had been visible a few minutes ago was hidden by a small clump of clouds. The faint wind whispering in Jacob-wolf's fur was one of the few sounds to be heard.

It wasn't too long before I could hear sounds of their passage. There were only four wolves coming, and at a remarkably slow pace; Sam ran in his human form.

Behind me, Emmett caught their scent and hissed with disgust.

"Be quiet," I cautioned.

The pack approached slowly, with Sam at their heels. Hungry snarls rumbled in their chests. Their eyes flickered from Emmett to me, back and forth. Sam's arms were shaking, and his eyes burned with hatred. With hatred, and with the need to tear, to rip…

"It crossed the line?" Sam asked quietly. Behind me, Emmett was as silent and still as stone, but I him fighting himself, fighting the same instinct that drove the wolves. The mighty revulsion in the air was almost tangible.

Jacob-wolf nodded, baring his teeth at Emmett. Emmett responded with a low snarl, despite my cautions, and I sighed in exasperation.

"Then we kill it," said Sam. His voice held the ring of an order, and his shape was already beginning to blur—

"No!" I shouted. Oh no, they wouldn't. Not if I had anything to do with it. Unconsciously, I moved backwards, towards Emmett, and pulled into a defensive crouch. The wolves stirred in surprise.

"Bella." Sam's voice was hard with authority. "Move aside."

My body tensed deeper into its defensive stance. "No, Sam, I won't. You're being ridiculous."

Sam's face blackened; his hands twitched in irritation. "The leech crossed the line," he said coldly. "It broke the treaty."

"What does it matter?" I demanded. "He didn't mean to. It was an _accident_!"

"Whether it meant to or not isn't relevant," Sam replied. "It broke the treaty."

Emmett shifted behind me, finally provoked. "Come, on, then," he challenged. "Try me." Apparently he thought he could take on the whole pack alone.

The wolves snarled again. They began moving, orienting themselves around where Emmett stood without crossing the line. They surrounded him from all sides.

"Gladly," Sam drawled. I had never seen him around a Cullen before, and I didn't like what I saw now. Calm, cool Sam was suddenly arrogant and irrational. "If you don't want to die alone, bloodsucker, then this would be the time to call your coven over."

"Emmett, shut _up_!" I howled. I moved a little closer to the pack, half-facing him, half-facing them. Trying to protect everyone. "Sam," I began, trying to remain clam, "this isn't happening. Treaty or no treaty, I'm not going to let you kill him."

Jacob whined softly, and Sam's face was incredulous. "You'll fight us, then?" he asked, unbelieving. "You'll fight _us _for that thing? Bella, he's a bloodsucker. A parasite!"

"So am I," I spat. "Or have you already forgotten? Have you already forgotten that I'm the exact same as he is?"

The wolves stiffened, and Jacob whined again. "You're a wolf, too," Sam pointed out.

"I suppose, in a way, that's true. But when it comes down to it, there's no real difference. We both drink blood, and we're both a potential danger to your tribe. We're both vampires. Now," I added, turning to face the wolves and looking at them one by one, "Do any of you guys want to kill _me_?"

No one spoke—no one moved an inch.

"Right. Well, it's the same thing. If you kill him, then you have to kill me, too."

As I spoke, I looked directly at Jacob. It was easy to see that my words had caused him pain. But he was the first to move out of his aggressive position, and sit back down on his haunches.

Sam's face was still undecided, however, and my voice turned pleading.

"Come on, Sam," I begged. "Jacob once broke the treaty—telling me about tribal legends, remember? But the Cullens didn't start a war over it, because he was just a kid who had made a mistake. Now, try to look at Emmett here like another kid who's slipped. The Cullens gave you a break; now's your turn to return the favor."

"Protectors don't do favors for vampires," Sam snapped. I could tell the logic was working on him…he was just angry at losing an opportunity to kill a vampire.

"Do it for me, then," I pled. "I'm part wolf, right? You said so yourself just a second ago. Well, just try to see it as doing a favor for your pack sister. That's not against the rules, right?"

"_All _of this is against the rules," said Sam. But he sighed in resignation, and I knew that Emmett was safe. I beamed.

Sam turned to Emmett. "You, leech," he said. "Where is your coven leader, Carlisle Cullen? I have to talk to him."

Emmett glared at him. "He didn't come with me," he hissed. "I came alone."

I didn't realize that I had been hoping to see someone other than Emmett until I felt the sinking feeling in my chest. _Don't be an idiot, _I chided myself. _You're lucky to see anyone at all. _

Sam pressed two shaking fists against his eyes. "If he isn't here, then we can't discuss whether the rules still apply." He flashed a glance at me, and then turned back to Emmett. "Since I'm not sure about the rules, bloodsucker, you're going to have to leave—whether you go of your own will or we have to drive you off. Whatever errand you came here for, you'll have to get it done quickly."

"I don't think my errand will take too long," Emmett answered. His voice was confident, but I caught him giving me a quick, speculative look.

"You have twenty-four hours," Sam warned. Then he turned and strode off in the direction of the Reservation. The others followed, but not before directing dark, meaningful looks at me—looks which I ignored.

Jacob-wolf sat still, looking at me. There was no look of betrayal in his eyes, only that of profound sadness. I could see how reluctant he was to leave me.

"Go on," I urged him. "Go with Sam."

With a sigh, Jacob-wolf heaved himself up from the ground. He turned, and disappeared into the dark forest.

As soon as Jacob's scent was gone, Emmett began laughing his booming laugh and shaking his head. "I never thought I'd see the day when _you _protected _me_," he said.

"The tables have turned, haven't they?" I agreed with a shy smile.

Emmett chuckled and opened his arms for me. "Come here, you."

I pulled into his cold, bearlike embrace with a strange sense of release. My mind drifted back to a time when I had thought that he would be my brother, and I sighed wistfully. "I can't believe it," I said, overwhelmed. "I can't believe you're here."

Emmett withdrew from the hug, but kept a burly arm around my shoulders. "_I _can't believe you're a _vampire_," he returned. He added almost to himself, "This changes everything."

I was about to ask him what he meant by that last statement, when he turned to me, hundreds of questions in his black eyes. "What _happened_ to you?"

**Author's Note: There's chappy fourteen. I'm so sorry that it took so long. But i think the chapters will be coming faster now. I also feel inclined to warn you all that Beauty and the Beast is slowly drawing to a close. There are only a couple of chapters left in the story. Many thanks to my dear friend and superlative beta Lomesir. Please review, as always, if you enjoyed it. **

**--Poola**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: As some of you know, I began this story when I was twelve years old. The last time that I updated, I was thirteen. That was a little over two years ago, and I'm so sorry that I didn't do this sooner. I don't have much of an excuse, but I'll tell you honestly that sometime two years ago, this story just kind of died for me. Though I certainly hadn't finished it for you, I felt like it was finished for me. I'm not updating now to give you the Chapter Fifteen that you've expected, because Chapter Fifteen doesn't exist. I'd given up on this story before I wrote it, and my writing style has matured and changed so much over the last two years that writing it now would be ridiculous. What I do hope to do with this update is give you a bit of closure, and express my sincerest apologies. The following chapter is the last one in the story, one that I wrote when I still planned to see it through. I'll fill in the blanks a little, since you never got to read Chapter Fifteen: Emmett comes to Forks looking for Bella. He finds her with Jake, and after the Emmett-werewolf confrontation in Chapter Fourteen, he asks Bella for her story. Bella explains what has transpired in the Cullens' absence, and Emmett attempts to persuade her to return with him to the Cullens' current location. She refuses; Emmett tells her to think about it, and leaves, promising to return the next day. This is what happens afterward. **

Chapter 16

The gentle pat of Jake's bare feet on the earth sounded behind me. Feeling his warm chin rest on my shoulder, I murmured, "Hey." When I turned around, there was a question in his eyes. _'So, what does the bloodsucker want?' _echoed silently in the air between us.

I sighed. "He wants me to go back with him."

Jacob nodded, his face blank and unsurprised. "And are you going to?"

It was beginning to rain; the humidity was warm on my skin. "No," I answered.

Jake smiled wryly, and sat down on the ground. He patted the ground beside him, indicating that I sit. Once I had done so, he asked, "Why not?"

Oh, no. I knew I should have expected this, should have planned what to say. "Because I don't want to," I said eventually. Whether it was the truth or a lie, I wasn't sure. Probably both.

Jacob seemed to think the latter. "Liar," he observed.

I only shook my head.

"You know what I think?" he asked quietly. Without an answer, he stated, "I think you should go with him."

Of course this wasn't what I had wanted him to say, but what alarmed me most was the tone of his voice: sad and calm and determined, the voice of someone who has made a decision.

I stood in sudden panic. "No, Jacob!" I cried. He stood as well, and I threw my arms around him, my arms binding tightly around his back as if to keep him there, as if _he _were the one that was going to leave.

It reminded me of a time, not so long ago though it seemed like decades, when I had flung my arms around him like this. A time when we had both been young and clumsy and human. I wasn't much taller than I had been at that time, and felt even more like a child now. Like he had back then, Jacob stroked my hair.

"I'm not going to leave you," I vowed.

Jacob pried my arms from his back with difficulty, and took my hands in his. The expression on his face hadn't changed.

"I'm not!" I insisted passionately. "I—I love you, Jake!"

He winced a little, and then allowed himself a sad smile. "You do love me, Bells," he agreed. "But not in the way that would make it acceptable to stay here."

This was not happening. I wasn't going to let it happen.

Jacob deserved better than this. I had never done right by him, never. One way or another, no matter how much I hated myself for it, I had always used him.

When we first met at that beach, I had flirted with him for information.

When we fixed the motorcycles, I had involved him in my crazy wish-fulfillment needs.

When I became a vampire, I had looked to him for protection from the pack.

Honestly, what had _I _ever done for _Jake_?

And now he was letting me leave. Jacob, the man to whom I owed a debt I could never repay, who had always taken care of me, forgiven me, and saved me countless times—wanted me to leave him.

"You're a vampire, Bella," he reminded me gently. "You'll never be a werewolf, no matter how long you do a werewolf's job."

Raindrops fell into my eyes, a substitute for the tears I couldn't shed.

"Jake, please," I begged, and added desperately, "Don't you care about me any more?"

I knew that this would qualify as hitting below the belt, but I didn't know what else to do. Really, it was a ridiculous question for me to ask him. Jacob had always loved me, even when I was an empty shell, even when I didn't love him back. It was one of the things that was so _solid _about him.

Jake seemed to understand what I was thinking. He looked at me for a long time, his probing, dark eyes gazing into my now-topaz ones as if trying to make me understand. When he finally did speak, his voice was uncharacteristically rough with emotion.

"Do you know how much I love you, Bella?" he asked quietly.

Nervously, I shook my head.

Jacob looked ruefully down at our joined hands. "I love you so much, Bella Swan, that I didn't care when all you wanted from me was a couple of fixed motorcycles. I love you so much that when you became a vampire, it didn't change anything. And I love you so much that now, I want you to leave me and go back to the Cullens. Because that's the only thing that'll make you happy."

His eyes swam with tears as he looked at me earnestly; I wished that I had the luxury. There were no tears to release what was building inside me now. And even if there were, it wouldn't be enough to channel out my feelings.

Edward had once told me that everything was stronger when you were a vampire. I realized now that your emotions were enhanced, too. Never before had I experienced sadness so profoundly, or with such clarity.

"Oh, Jacob," I whispered, my voice catching in anguish, "I don't deserve you."

How could I leave him? How could I leave Jake—my safe harbor, my own personal sun?

"I'll take care of Charlie, don't worry," he promised.

I looked up, pleadingly, into his beloved face. "Don't do this," I found myself saying. "Jake, you're all I have left." But I knew, even as I spoke the words, that it wasn't true.

Tears streamed down Jacob's cheeks. "Go, Bells," he whispered. "Be happy." One last time, he bent and pressed his warm lips against my hand.

Then he turned and disappeared into the forest, leaving me alone in the rain.

**A/N: This, as I told you before in my other author's notes, was basically a Cullen-free story. I intended BandB to have a cliffie ending, which seems cruel now since you've all been left hanging so long. I'm pretty sure we all know what decision Bella is going to make, though. The princess usually gets her Prince Charming in the end. I'll cut off any hopes or requests now by saying that there won't be a sequel. Once again, I'm so sorry the story turned out this way. Permanent cases of writer's block are never happy or convenient things. If you don't hate me too much by now, feel free to check out The Attic, a current story that I am absolutely going to finish. It's All Human and the writing is much more mature than this story (language included), but you'll see a LOT more of Edward. Thanks so much for all of the support and feedback you've given this story. Stay golden. **

**--Kaitipoola  
**


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